Magic Beans Not Accepted
So me and the (Literally) Little Lady strolled down to Pathmark this afternoon (another little benefit of unemployment). Pathmark, without question, is always a hassle, and I try to avoid it whenever possible. I usually ride my bike or, now that I have a car, drive over to Key Food in Park Slope, where they have a parking lot and much nicer clientele. So after a surprisingly pain free shopping experience (minus an interminable deli counter waiter that featured some not-so-good-natured bickering between two deli employees) we finally get to the cashier. We're just waiting for the guy ahead of us to pay. And the we wait. And wait. And then, oh, we waited some more. At Pathmark, there's often an additional step added to the purchasing process. A person will take a cart-load of goods up to the checkout, then, after a certain amount of goods have been purchased say something like "I don't want the rest," and leave the remaining goods behind. I'd never seen this before. But apparently it's very common here in the Brooklyn Pathmark. Anyway, the easiest step of the whole deal is the actual paying. So yesterday, we're waiting and waiting and waiting for this guy. So guess what? He doesn't have any money! Boo-ya!
So he searches his wallet a few times, goes through his pockets, goes back to the wallet. Then he starts flipping through this mini Bible he has, as if the Lord would suddenly make 20 bucks appear. Then he flips through the wallet again. It's brimming over with receipts, stubs, metro cards, bus passes, and just about anything else one would keep in his wallet- except money. And he keeps alternating between his wallet and his pockets, as if, just maybe, the eight time- bingo!- there's money! The most incredible thing about this was actually how long the cashier allowed this to continue. A good five minutes went by until a manager had to come over and tell him that, guess what? you can't have the stuff if you ain't got the money. I think his strategy was to just sit there and hope someone said "Oh, just get out of here, you old scamp!" I have to admit, by minute 5 I was thinking of just throwing 20 bucks at him just so I could get out of there. Earlier, LLL had overheard him telling another woman in line that he was a millionaire, and that he could take care of her and treat her real nice. Who knows? Maybe he's a millionaire and isn't used to carrying around cash. Maybe he doesn't know how the new-fangled economy works. Remember when George Bush couldn't figure out the grocery store scanner? So maybe this guy is just eccentric. or maybe he's just a fucking nut.
Does this shit happen at Whole Foods in Manhattan? I love Brooklyn, but I don't think this happens many other places. It's the combination of the guy going to a store with no money and the cashier just standing there, slack-jawed, seemingly not caring if the guy produces any money or not. While she seemed mildly put out, it seemed like it was a break to her. She didn't say a goddam word. Of course, the cashiers never say anything to you at all. I can get by without a greeting or a thanks, but it really irritates me when they don't even tell you how much you owe and can't be bothered to say one goddam word. And I'd have to believe that this guy's scam has worked before, or else he wouldn't even have tried it, or stood there so long waiting for money or charity to appear.
One of the funniest signs in Pathmark is the "8 Items or Less" sign over the express lines. It's purely decorative. I never thought they'd need one reading "Money Required to Purchase Goods."
I feel a bit bourgeois and snobby complaining about this stuff, as if I'm better than other people. Then again, I can say confidently, that, yes, I am better than other people. At least some people. Like this guy. Sure, I don't know his story or the circumstances behind his tale of woe that would lead him to this point, but I have to think if I were in a position where I needed something and didn't have any money, I'd at least resort to stealing. At least there's a proud history of thievery, and some cleverness behind it. Just standing there pretending to be looking for money is totally pussy.
So he searches his wallet a few times, goes through his pockets, goes back to the wallet. Then he starts flipping through this mini Bible he has, as if the Lord would suddenly make 20 bucks appear. Then he flips through the wallet again. It's brimming over with receipts, stubs, metro cards, bus passes, and just about anything else one would keep in his wallet- except money. And he keeps alternating between his wallet and his pockets, as if, just maybe, the eight time- bingo!- there's money! The most incredible thing about this was actually how long the cashier allowed this to continue. A good five minutes went by until a manager had to come over and tell him that, guess what? you can't have the stuff if you ain't got the money. I think his strategy was to just sit there and hope someone said "Oh, just get out of here, you old scamp!" I have to admit, by minute 5 I was thinking of just throwing 20 bucks at him just so I could get out of there. Earlier, LLL had overheard him telling another woman in line that he was a millionaire, and that he could take care of her and treat her real nice. Who knows? Maybe he's a millionaire and isn't used to carrying around cash. Maybe he doesn't know how the new-fangled economy works. Remember when George Bush couldn't figure out the grocery store scanner? So maybe this guy is just eccentric. or maybe he's just a fucking nut.
Does this shit happen at Whole Foods in Manhattan? I love Brooklyn, but I don't think this happens many other places. It's the combination of the guy going to a store with no money and the cashier just standing there, slack-jawed, seemingly not caring if the guy produces any money or not. While she seemed mildly put out, it seemed like it was a break to her. She didn't say a goddam word. Of course, the cashiers never say anything to you at all. I can get by without a greeting or a thanks, but it really irritates me when they don't even tell you how much you owe and can't be bothered to say one goddam word. And I'd have to believe that this guy's scam has worked before, or else he wouldn't even have tried it, or stood there so long waiting for money or charity to appear.
One of the funniest signs in Pathmark is the "8 Items or Less" sign over the express lines. It's purely decorative. I never thought they'd need one reading "Money Required to Purchase Goods."
I feel a bit bourgeois and snobby complaining about this stuff, as if I'm better than other people. Then again, I can say confidently, that, yes, I am better than other people. At least some people. Like this guy. Sure, I don't know his story or the circumstances behind his tale of woe that would lead him to this point, but I have to think if I were in a position where I needed something and didn't have any money, I'd at least resort to stealing. At least there's a proud history of thievery, and some cleverness behind it. Just standing there pretending to be looking for money is totally pussy.
posted by Greg at 2:44 AM
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